Annoying The Harry Potter Characters
by The Psychiatric Ward
Summary: Ever wanted to annoy the Harry Potter characters, but have no idea how? Well you've come to the right place, here are all the ways to annoy the characters and more.


These are some things we think need to be done.

Chapter One

Go around asking Snape if he's emo or Goth.

Chase Voldemort around and ask whether he's jealous that Harry doesn't die.

Randomly run up to the fat lady at all hours and scream as loud as you can "IT'S SIRIUS, SIRIUS BLACKS HERE! HIDE!"

Lock Lockheart in a room full with pixies.

Tell Colin Creevy that Harry's giving out free signed photos. (This annoys harry by the way)

Tell Voldy that weapons of mass destruction can be bought on E-bay.

Ask Hermione why she fell in love with a ranga.

Accidently leave a flyer labeled "Guaranteed to kill your enemy, State of the art, Assassins" lying around Voldy's bed.

Tell Voldemort to change his name to Satan.

Tell Voldemort that he can buy Harry potter figurines from K-Mart and they are his power the dark lord knows not.

Get the dark mark and press it at unseemly hours and when Voldy appears, hit him and say "TAG!!! Your it!"

Go around asking Voldy when his birthday is, especially when he's asleep.

When you find out that, buy Voldy a "Being Evil For Dummies" book.

Tell Ginny that Harry is cheating on her with Cho.

Go up to Mcgonagall and use a match to start a fire on her robes and scream "BURN WITCH, BURN!!"

Take Dumbledore's lemon drops and hide them in the slytherin's common room.

Introduce Voldy and Galbatorix and tell them gay marriage is legal.

Invite all of their enemies and make their wedding song "Ur so gay" by Katy Perry.

Get a priest license and perform the marriage.

By dogs from the pound, say they're keeping Sirius company.

Turn Potions class into Home Economics.

Give Sirius a flea bath.

Badger Hagrid till he agrees to show you Norbert. Ask it to deep cook random objects.

Grin and ask Lupin why he and three other guys used to go into the Shrieking Shack once a month.

Make comments to Ginny about Harry and Hermione.

Suggest if they're together, she's stuck with Ron.

Run. Fast.

Try to cut down the Whomping Willow.

Loudly say it's all in the spirit of Christmas.

If caught, send a first year to put 'a star' on top of the tree.

Watch. :)

Duct tape first year Gryffindors and Slytherins to the roof as decorations.

Repeatedly ask Dumbledore if he's Santa.

Ransom first years.

Steal Dumbledore's socks.

Offer to sell them back to him.

One sock at a time.

Ask Malfoy if he's part Veela.

Ask Malfoy is he compensating for something when his dad brought the Slytherin's quiddich team, 'brooms'.

Stare at McGonagall. If she asks you what you are doing, ask her what type of kitty litter she uses.

Ask Malfoy if he spends more time with his mum, now that his dad's in Azkaban.

Hang up catnip in all doorways.

Loudly question the talent of the Gryffindor quiddich team.

Run.

Attempt to flood out the Slytherin's common rooms.

During a Huflepuff/Slytherin quiddich match, get the crowd to chant 'Badger, badger, badger, badger, mushroom, mushroom, Snape! It's a Snape!'

During Potions class, ask Snape if today's potion can be used as a sexual lubricant.

Loudly sing 'Potter Puppet Pals' in random subjects.

Ask Voldy if he's jealous that a midget sized, scrawny little baby defeated him when he was only one.

Run.

Use Mcgonagall to 'update' your IPod every year.

Start a house-elf revolution.

Reject Hermione's offer to be manager, secretary or any other position if power.

Threaten to cut off Dumbledore's hair if you don't get full marks in every subject.

Do it anyway.

Claim you were just following the 'muck-up day' tradition.

Which comes around every day of the week.

Hit on your Charms teacher.

Claim you're just 'employing' your subject skills.

Buy Draco a book on ferrets.

Persuade Hagrid to use his next five classes to teach people about ferrets.

Send Snape continuous gift vouchers for shampoo and other hair products.

Lock Snape and Luna in a room together.

Tell Luna, Snape has a purple-beaked, womble-bird nesting in his hair.

Note Reaction.

Tell Luna she can have it if she dyes Snape's hair pink for him.

Fire all the house-elves and at the next meal, announce loudly that Hogwarts is sponsoring Weight Watchers for the rest of the year.

Stare at Snape and when he asks what you are doing, tell him he's better looking than James Potter and walk out of class.

Direct vampire jokes towards Snape and throw garlic at him.

Cover Cedric Diggory in glitter and shove him into the sunlight.

Use paint thinner on the Fat Lady.

Tell her she needs it.

Draw on all the portraits with magic markers.

Loudly compare the similarities between Lupin's 'Furry Little Problem' to the menstrual cycle.


End file.
